by Chris Carosi
Last night I was at the bar, enjoying myself, trying not to be awkward, talking about Doctor Who or something when I looked up at the television above the bar and saw that the Penguins had traded for Calgary forward Jarome Iginla. I convened with my one friend in the Bay Area that loves hockey and he said, being more informed than I, “I just read Boston got him.”
After a few hasty iPhone searches, we saw the truth. No, the Penguins swept him, seemingly at the last possible second.
I went home and checked it out. The entire Internet was trolled by the Penguins. Everyone including reputable sources like TSN (that’s Canadian ESPN) were saying the Boston Bruins had landed Iginla. This was going until an enormous sigh swept over the Internet, like a long breeze sweeping the Cheetos crumbs from underneath the servers around the globe: “Oh shit. Sorry everyone. Iginla is going to Pittsburgh.”
TSN’s venerable Bob McKenzie apologizing to the Internet
What’s even stranger (or awesome depending on your POV) is that the reason why Iginla came to Pittsburgh is that he chose to. He has a no trade clause which means he can waive it to play for a contending team. That’s why he didn’t go to Boston. He didn’t want to. And the Pens only gave up two mediocre prospects and a first-round pick for him.
Add to that the Penguins addition of the other big name grizzled veteran on the market (Brenden Morrow from Dallas) and the best big defenseman on the board (Douglas Murray from San jose) and you have an ungodly stacked roster of dudes that want to win a cup. The current NHL leading scorer Sidney Crosby is playing spectacularly and the team is in the midst of a 13-game winning streak (longer than the Blackhawks 11-game winning streak this season–their 25-game streak was a points streak, not wins). And, oh yeah, the reigning league MVP Evgeni Malkin hasn’t played since March 9th. The Pens haven’t lost in March yet.
Douglas Murray: Swedish Troll.
The Pens have trolled the entire league before the league can blink an eye. They have usurped control of the Eastern conference with skill, front office suave, and haven’t even spent any money or traded anybody.
Iginla has a huge cap hit so he will be gone after the offseason probably. This is what a team who wants a Cup looks like. They are determined to put fixes in place to win now. The trolls can have class.
